Stressing about cancer recurrence

All of us who have had an initial cancer diagnosis will recall the feelings that surrounded hearing the words " you've got cancer". It is a shock, it puts everything we knew and all our future plans into a tailspin. Time stops. We have to absorb what we are told. We have to learn the language specific to our cancer diagnosis, we have to decide on our options quickly. We don't have time to process, to feel anything but betrayal by our bodies. We then need to process the subsequent anger...the "why me". Then the need to justify...the things we have done "wrong" in our past, must have given us cancer.

And then we get to treatment options. Choices, pros, cons, multiple decisions...sometimes weeks, months or a year or more in treatment...processing all the physical changes, the tastebuds that are doing funny things, the weird or off smells, the healing post-surgically, the changes in skin and hair, or regrowth of hair. So much change.

Finally: treatment done. Brain and feelings catch up with with all the processing that has left us feeling unsettled, stressed and worried about "what if it comes back?" Not feeling like we could cope with a second or third round of cancer...or a metastatic diagnosis.

How are we supposed to get back to "normal"? This can cause us an infuriating amount of stress, it spins round and round in our minds...if we feel miserable and ill, our first thought is "is it back?"

So far, in the 3 1/2 years since my diagnosis, I have found that time is a great healer, that the further out you get, and the more things that keep your mind occupied with pleasurable things, the less focused I am on recurrence, I have checked with WOWS! members, and most of them concur. Helpful tips that we discussed to help relieve the worry, and allow you to let off some of that stress and fear might look like the following:

1) Join a peer support group, talk out your fears, your big worries, with folks who have had that experience. Speaking to and learning from others in the group as you go through your own journey is often a relief, your experiences and sharing are welcomed at peer support sessions.

2) If you can't make it out to a peer support group meeting, please phone us, we are available to do phone support. We don't want to leave you just waiting until you come to us, we are just a quick dial away. WOWS! 289-966-4668. We are very happy to help out, please leave us a message, we will get back to you shortly.

3) Speak with your family doctor or oncology team about your recurrent thoughts and fears.

4) Join Wellspring, a supportive place for learning through their many classes and guided sessions on how to get the best parts of yourself back. Classes are provided free of charge and there are always others to listen to and share with going through various stages of their own cancer journeys. Peer support is also available.

5) Do what you did before you had cancer: call your friends, go to a movie, card game, dinner, brunch, coffee. Talk about everything NOT cancer related.

6) Reconnect with your family members: some may have gone "funny" when they heard you had/have a cancer diagnosis. Ask them what it is about your having cancer that has turned them away from you.

7) Start/re-start your favorite hobby or craft. Your mind and imagination are best served when they are busy being creative.

8) Reinvent you. Become the best of the best of yourself. Whatever that means to you. This journey allows you to free yourself from the limitations you may have decided were holding you back from moving forward: Hell's bells, you got through cancer treatment, it is a new day.

9) De-stress by treating yourself kindly: treat yourself to that scented bubble bath, a trip to the massage therapist, buy a new flavour of tea, or anything that makes you really happy. Indulge a little.

10) Get exercising. It is the best way to reduce your risk of recurrence, it lowers your stress level, and gives you plenty of the feel good endorphins.

11) If you are still engulfed in upset, check our contact page for links to Canadian Cancer Society support line and Ontario Mental Health helpline.

12) Take a moment to give yourself a hug. You've been through a lot.

Til next month,

Take Care.